This Valentine’s Day, it’s not just violets that are blue; be a little risqué with your not-so-sweet greeting to your sweetheart.
Valentine’s Day cards are intended to help you convey your sentiments to your spouse, but what if your feelings aren’t totally pure?
After all, some couples may like sex toys over cuddly animals.
Don’t worry, we’ve gathered a collection of the most inappropriate, tongue-in-cheek, blush-inducing jokes for Valentine’s Day.
These jokes are sure to make your loved one blush, whether you write them in a card, text them, or whisper them into their ear.
Naughty jokes and poems for Valentine’s Day
From the outright dirty to the naughty – here are some jokes you can include in your cards to inject a bit of humour into your Valentine’s Day.
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all I like your ass.
Do you present the weather? Because I predict a few extra inches tonight.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My knickers get wet
Just thinking of you.
Let’s play carpenter so I can nail you.
You remind me of a balloon – I want to blow you.
What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.
You look handsome, you look sweet,
Lie down over there, and I’ll take a seat.
I’m training to be an astronaut, and my first mission is to explore Uranus.
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I’m using my hand,
Thinking of you.
We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows… you’re hot and I want to be on top of you.
I love you around the clock,
I love your body, your mind and your soul,
And not just your massive… heart.
You’re like breakfast: great in bed!
I’m an archaeologist. Do you have a large bone you’d like me to examine?
I’m like butter, you can spread me anytime.
Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, you be the 9.
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