Amelia, the first SAS: Who Dares Wins recruit, was the first in the series to share her moving narrative of joining the reality show and confronting her innermost fears along the road.
Twenty recruits are being put through their paces in the difficult Vietnam jungle by Directing Staff Mark ‘Billy’ Billingham, Jason ‘Foxy’ Fox, Rudy Reyes, and rookie DS Chris Oliver.
Amelia broke down in tears during Monday’s first episode as she battled great heights, failing to complete the challenge and shivering until she was safely back on the ground.
The recruits had to walk across two narrow pipes, which tested their anxiety of being so high above the earth, as well as their balance and focus.
While many people died as a result of their concerns, Amelia was possibly the most afraid of all.
She was later hauled into the Mirror Room to investigate why she had joined up for the task after failing to impress the DS.
The competitive swimmer told DS Foxy and Chris that she was ‘constantly afraid’ of ‘doing things wrong’ and ‘not being good enough’.
The 28-year-old continued: ‘Today was really tough for me, immediately I was thinking, “You’re a failure, you’ve failed, you can’t do it”‘.
‘Ballsed it right up, but you’re worrying about stuff that hasn’t even happened, and when it’s happened, it’s too late to worry about it,’ Foxy said.
‘A situation that happened I think just completely knocked my confidence,’ Amelia said, explaining that her past relationship left her feeling ‘not good enough’ after her ex-partner left her for another woman.
‘A lot of those feelings of not being good enough, that’s what I feel all the time,’ she added.
Ahead of the series airing, Amelia said she took part in the show because ‘I didn’t think I could do it’.
She continued: ‘I have an inner narrative that tells me I’m not good enough, I’m going to fail, I’m not strong or capable and wouldn’t be able to do it.
‘This is a narrative that weighs heavily on me in everyday life so I thought if I could do this I would be able to show myself that I can do anything and quieten or re-write that negative inner dialogue.’
SAS: Who Dares Wins airs on Mondays at 9pm on Channel 4.
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