Love Island on Wednesday saw more of the same with plenty of Gemma Owen and Davide Sanclimenti smug but spiky coupledom, the odd classic cringe and a lot of dry chat.
Or as Gemma said, after her first lemonade-making date with Davide (there’s a joke in there somewhere): ‘No physical contact to report.’
As ever, the bombshells teased to viewers at the end of Tuesday’s episode still haven’t actually set foot in the villa at the end of the following episode, so dramatic interventions are being stretched alarmingly thin at the moment.
In fact, people were even distracted by a banana skin on the floor if that helps give an idea of viewers’ engagement to begin with.
At least the Great British public were kind enough to bestow a double date with new gals Afia Tonkmore and Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu on singleton Liam Lewellyn though.
Gemma and Davide’s initial chat simply seemed to confirm that they consider each other the most attractive in the villa, but is that the only thing they’ll be agreeing on? Compatibility doesn’t exactly seem certain with the two talking about the ‘whatever’ number of children they’ll share in the future after Gemma wouldn’t be moved from four and Davide wanted two.
Indeed, one of the only moments of tension in the episode came from the couple discussing their families with one another and wondering when – surely when, and not if – Gemma will finally reveal that her dad is English football icon Michael Owen (and would Davide even know who he was?)
For now though, she simply remains 19-year-old Gemma who lives at home with her 12 horses, mum and dad, and three younger siblings.
Also on the Gemma front, Love Island fans were not happy to see her imply she was still interested in Liam, all but dangling him, as he said she was ‘at the top of his tree’ and that he had ‘work to do’ during their fire pit chat after her recoupling. Bless.
We can but hope that either of the new bombshells could be more of a genuine option, and Liam doesn’t ‘embarrass’ himself as people were worrying about. He’s got those two new ladies to focus on!
Iain Stirling delivered one of his more savage narration blows on this topic, describing Dami Hope, the microbiologist, as the ‘perfect man’ to discuss Liam’s chances with Gemma when they had their chat, as he’s used to wielding a microscope.
Luca Bish did his best trying to pep up Liam though with a classic ‘you’re Welsh and you’re funny’ consolation line in the face of Davide’s ‘Italian god status’ – which plenty of viewers noted Luca’s interest in.
Elsewhere, that was a spot of conflict between Andrew Le Page, Tasha Ghouri and Luca ‘whiplash’ Bish, who took a moment to lay it on Factor 50 thick with Tasha but still seemed keen to keep his eye on all five of the ‘sexy girls’.
‘Top threes’ are apparently the thing according to Amber Beckford, and Andrew was a little bit naughty attempting to convince Tasha she wasn’t in Luca’s before he confirmed she was and went to call out Andrew (not before moaning to Paige Thorne about it first though, who he’s also pursuing).
As Andrew’s ‘honest mistake’ (hmm) was laid bare, the situation was diffused pretty quickly into a make-up hug between the pair after lots of apologising from Andrew.
Although not before Luca came in with the blinder: ‘A mistake, mate, is spilling apple juice on my trousers.’
Lots of the other Islanders seemed side-lined this episode, and certainly Indiyah Polack, Ikenna Ekwonna, Amber, Dami and Paige – something which fans were noticing.
Dami did make his first official move on Amber though, giving her a kiss after the icky ‘I can’t tell you, but I can show you?’ line as they discussed their feelings.
Again, we were left waiting for the main drama to hit at the end of the episode so here’s hoping those bombshells will provide it.
Love Island airs nightly at 9pm on ITV2.