Love Island was finally back on Monday night and really had it all, from Italian Stallions to Michael Owen and sex positions we’ve never, ever heard of.
Summer is here at last, and even though it’s freezing outside, we’ve got another batch of sexy singletons in a brand-new Spanish villa to remind us there is still some sunshine somewhere.
Iain Stirling soon proved he’d lost none of his ability to make razor-sharp observations, kicking off with a brutal dig aimed at a former Tory MP, while his wife Laura Whitmore prepped the girls to meet the boys.
But there was a major twist to come. For the first time ever, the couples would be chosen by viewers.
The subtle change was kept quite lowkey, and while it was posted across socials, it’s clear many fans completely missed the memo and weren’t all that pleased.
Either way, feelings from the islanders were certainly mixed, with Gemma and Indiyah Polack giving absolutely savage reactions to the audience’s picks. Nothing says ‘summer of love’ like an awkward forced hug.
Maybe the general public aren’t always to be trusted.
Gemma just about managed to skirt around mentioning her famous father (Michael Owen, if you weren’t already aware. The guy who dressed up as a doughnut on The Masked Singer). But it definitely won’t be much longer until ‘my dad’s actually Michael Owen’ becomes the defining phrase of the 2022 series.
Chat moved on to sex positions, as fishmonger Luca eyed up Welsh gal Paige.
Her number one was something called the ‘broken eagle’, while he favoured ‘the oyster’. It already sounds like a match made in heaven.
A reminder that this was episode one, and we’re never going near oysters ever again.
There were some more heartwarming moments too, as the programme’s first-ever Deaf contestant Tasha Ghouri opened up about her cochlear implant on-screen.
‘Basically, I was born completely Deaf and I wear a cochlear implant in my right ear. It doesn’t define me, it’s just who I am,’ before calling it her ‘super power’.
She was quickly praised by her fellow contestants for her honesty, with Luca telling the cameras: ‘I think she had some balls to do that, credit to her.’
Our favourite new revelation from an islander tonight has to be the theory of icon Elton John being two separate people.
Yep, Liam really believed the legendary star was two singers named Elt and John. And do you know what? Fair enough.
Finally, it wouldn’t be an opener of Love Island without a last-minute bombshell to come in a shake things up, and Davide Sanclimenti didn’t take long to do just that.
The Italian Stallion soon caught Gemma’s eye, and the rest of the nation’s attention, after her partnership with Liam crashed and burned quicker than you can say, Michael Owen.
In the next 24 hours, Davide will pick a girl to couple up with, leaving one boy vulnerable – but will we get a savage dumping on day two? It’s happened before, and we’re sure it could happen again.
Whatever happens, we’re already hooked, and we’ve got 10 more weeks of it to look forward to (yes, really).
Love Island continues tomorrow night at 9pm on ITV.