We rely on a wide variety of devices to keep our lives running smoothly.
We see the doctor and the dentist frequently. The prudent among us monitor our car’s oil and tyre pressure.
However, when it comes to our romantic partnerships, we frequently choose to sit back, relax, and cross our fingers.
Ruby Rare, a sex educator and author, announced this week on Instagram that she and her partner would be doing their annual “relationship evaluation” on the occasion of their anniversary.
‘We are going to do what we always do, which is a relationship appraisal. We do this every anniversary,’ she explained.
‘I love doing these. It’s a really nice way to reflect on what the last year has been like, and a nice neutral space to talk about what’s gone really well and also what hasn’t gone well, and what you might want to improve and work on.’
Ruby and her partner discuss their favourite experiences, problems, accomplishments, upcoming improvements, and future ambitions under several headings.
It’s easy to think that a relationship audit is only necessary if you’re having problems in the relationship.
Match’s dating and relationship specialist Hayley Quinn, whoemphasised the importance of taking stock of your relationship in this way.
A relationship audit might not seem like fun on paper, but it’s better to address problems as they arise than to let them fester.
If you’re honest and appreciative of your partner’s contributions, you can develop genuine emotional connection.
As the quote above puts it, “And if you feel that your relationship is merely ticking along and that some of the spark is gone, a “audit” may provide you both a trigger to become more creative and invest in the quality of the partnership as a whole.”
Warning, however. If not handled well, an evaluation might damage trust in the partnership.
Hayley elaborates, “An “audit” needs to be reciprocal. An audit may be seen as a chance to be punitive rather than a chance to nurture the relationship if one of you is chronically irritated by the relationship while the other is content to go with the flow.
Similarly, if you and your partner spend more time analysing the state of your relationship than really being in it, you may discover that you’ve lost interest in maintaining it.
No one like being confronted with a list of perceived demands during an anniversary dinner, but “spending an evening out, sometimes, to stop watching Netflix and truly engage one another should assist you both to stay tuned in to one another’s needs.”
As an added bonus, this is a great chance to assess how you feel about yourself in your personal relationships. Hayley advises, “Remember self-love is incredibly crucial to a good relationship.” As part of your audit, prioritise any alterations that will make you feel even more positively about yourself and your relationship. “Loving yourself means you can give and receive more love,” as the saying goes.
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