Hayden Panettiere has shed some light on her opioid addiction, revealing that it caused her liver to ‘give out’.
The American actress, 32, battled with the addiction in secret for years, admitting that she didn’t even want to see her daughter during her toughest moments.
Hayden – best known for her roles of Claire Bennet on Heroes and Juliette Barnes in the musical drama series Nashville – says her addiction to opioids and alcohol stemmed from being given ‘happy pills’ at the age of 15.
She said someone on her management team would give her the pills prior to walking on red carpets, which made her lively and upbeat during interviews, confessing to having ‘no idea that this was not an appropriate thing.’
Speaking to People, the US star reflected on how her addiction almost cost her her career: ‘I was on top of the world and I ruined it,’ she said.
‘I’d think I hit rock bottom, but then there’s that trap door that opens’, she added, referring also to her postpartum depression after welcoming seven-year-old Kaya.
She continued: ‘My saving grace is that I couldn’t be messy while on set and working. But things kept getting out of control [off set]. And as I got older, the drugs and alcohol became something I almost couldn’t live without.’
Hayden shared that her ‘really tough years’ began in 2014, when she was starring in Nashville and her real-life pregnancy was written into the show.
‘I could relate to a lot of those storylines like the alcoholism and postpartum depression. They hit close to home,’ she said.
Hayden eventually sought treatment for her depression, but was still relying on alcohol to get her through each day, which impacted her relationship with her daughter.
‘I never had the feeling that I wanted to harm my child, but I didn’t want to spend any time with her,’ she said, sharing that she quit drinking while pregnant but started again after giving birth: ‘There was just this grey colour in my life.’
The actress would find ways to drink in secret, which led to the breakdown of her relationship with Wladimir Klitschko, whom she started dating in 2009 and co-parents their child.
Hayden added that he ‘didn’t want to be around’ her as she was ‘in a cycle of self-destruction.’
As her problems worsened, Hayden was eventually hospitalised and suffered from jaundice, recalling that doctors warned her that her liver was going to ‘give out.’
‘I was no longer a 20-year-old who could just bounce right back.’
She ended up entering rehab for eight months, which she credits for helping her to ‘get over the hump’ and allowing her career to flourish once more, since she is now reprising the fan-favourite role of Kirby Reed in the forthcoming Scream movie, and doing charity work with an organisation she founded to raise funds for Ukraine.
‘It’s an everyday choice, and I’m checking in with myself all the time,’ she said.
‘I’m just so grateful to be part of this world again, and I will never take it for granted again.’
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