Alyssa Milano has opened up about her complicated thoughts on her past miscarriages, feeling like they were ‘karma’ for her having terminated pregnancies in the past.
The actress and author, 48, who now has a son and a daughter, felt like she was being ‘punished’ with the miscarriages for having had abortions before she was ready to be a mother.
She told People’s Me Becoming Mom podcast: ‘I definitely had this moment of, “Well, I’m being punished, basically, for abortions in my 20s.”
‘I didn’t realise that at the time. It took a while in therapy to realise that that was something that I was putting on myself.’
Alyssa shares 10-year-old son Milo and seven-year-old daughter Elizabella with husband David Bugliari and admits she worried that something would happen to them, adding: ‘I always felt like, “What if something happens to these two little beings that I love so much? And is there a world in which they’re taken away from me for whatever karmic resolution needed to happen?”’
She revealed that both of her miscarriages had happened early in the pregnancy, at around seven or eight weeks.
Alyssa had revealed in 2019 that she had had two abortions within months of one another in 1993 when she was in her twenties.
She explained on her Alyssa Milano: Sorry Not Sorry podcast: ‘I knew at that time, I was not equipped to be a mother, and so I chose to have an abortion.
‘I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me. It was not an easy choice. It was not something I wanted, but it was something that I needed, like most health care is.
‘It was devastating. I was raised Catholic and was suddenly put in conflict with my faith. A faith I was coming to realise empowered only men to make every single decision about what was allowed and what was not allowed.’
Alyssa added that she did not regret the decision, difficult as it was, as it made her the mother she is today.
She added: ‘I would not have my children — my beautiful, perfect, loving, kind and inquisitive children who have a mother who was so very, very ready for them.
‘I would not have my career. I would not have the ability or platform I use to fight against oppression with all my heart. I would never have met my amazing husband David, whose steadfast and immeasurable love for me sustains me through these terrifying times.’